Over a year ago my adoring husband wrote in his blog about the fact that I purchased underwear for him at Goodwill.  You can read that blog here:

http://dbaumgartner.com/2007/07/04/the-lighter-side/

The problem is that he didn’t tell the whole truth.  The whole truth includes the fact that the underwear was NEW.  NEW in a torn package and donated to Goodwill by Target.  So people read that blog and some, no doubt, thought I was cheap enough, disgusting enough to buy used undies.

This summer a thought crossed my mind of what would be the perfect revenge.  I employed the assistance of my oldest child, who I know is ornry enough to participate and keep the secret.  It took several trips to a variety of used goods stores to find the perfect pair.  Similar enough to his other underwear to slip by undetected.  The right size.  Solid color.  Used.

An evil smile comes to my face whenever they go through the laundry.  It’s been a couple of months now.  He’s finding out the same way you are (except those of you I’ve told about my “dirty little secret”).

Hopefully I’ll live to blog another day.

Ever heard that one?  It’s true, you know.  Somebody has to pay.  Unfortunately, it’s often not the person eating the lunch.  Yesterday after I dropped off the boys I went into the school with a check for their lunches this week.  I explained to the office lady that I had tried to pay online but it wasn’t up-to-date.  She assured me that they could eat lunch and told me not to worry even if I hadn’t paid.  Nobody is refused lunch.  She told me they would send me a bill if we got behind.  So I guess it’s like the county giving a credit card to everyone, regardless of their ability or desire to pay.  Pretty much if I just don’t pay my kids will still eat (not that I don’t want my kids to eat, I just think each parent should be responsible for their own kids!)  Seems like more and more in our culture we are trying to upset the law of consequences.  Your tax dollars at work.

This summer I read “Boundaries With Kids” and I highly recommend it.  I’ll begin reviewing it here.  David is reading it now too, and we’ve already implemented a couple of ideas.  So often I’ve inserted myself into my children’s conflicts, just to get through the day, rather than teaching them how to resolve it the next time it comes up.  This book is about teaching them the lifeskills they’ll need to become independent, productive, happy adults.  It’s the long view.  And I’ve honestly never read anything that gave me more hope that someday the whining can go away, the fighting won’t be my problem because I won’t put myself in the middle, and when my kids reach adulthood they will actually be equiped to live on their own.  Now we just have to remember not to fall back into the old habits.  More on the book tomorrow.

Well, here it goes.  A while ago David offered to set up a blog for me, and to be honest, I was bored with the idea at first.  But once I realized it could be an outlet to express my passions (cute shoes, jewelry, purses to die for) as well as to tell some of the stories I know that make people laugh, I decided to jump.  Just 8 short months after he offered, David delivered.  Here it is.  What do you think?

I don’t understand the difference yet between tags and categories or know how to include video clips, etc., so bear with me.  I’ll eventually figure it out (which is code for “I’ll make David do it”).

I’ve decided several of my more humorous experiences can easily be used as literal examples of cliche, so I have a category for that.  For instance, the phrase “the little woman” in this web address used to take me quickly to a point of indignation.  I needed to be my own woman, not be identified as “little” in relation to the significance of my spouse.  My disdain for the phrase (and all old-fashioned female sterotypes) was all the fuel my dad needed to tease and laugh at me.  No, it didn’t hurt my feelings; it was his way of saying “I love you”.  Come to think of it, maybe that’s why I like to tease so much.  Anyway, Gary Larson changed my opinion of that particular phrase with one of my favorite comics (by the funniest comic of all time), below:

After several years of marriage I don’t mind being thought of as David’s wife and many incredible things about him make it a priviledge to be his “little woman”.  Lots of girls would love to be in my shoes (see how I mentioned shoes there!  Gotta love shoes!).  It is a treasure beyond description to have someone know you as well as he knows me.  One night while I was about 7 months pregnant we were visiting my parents and I was helping my mother cook.  Now, normally my feet are ice cold, but you could have baked bread on them in those days, so needless to say I spent a lot of time out of my shoes then.  My tummy was sticking out so far that I was getting my shirt dirty, so my mother put an apron on me, which of course had to be tied above my baby pooch, making it look even bigger.  I walked into the living room where my dad and David were watching TV and waiting for dinner (a cliche in itself) and when David looked up and saw my big belly covered in that apron and bare feet below, he burst into laughter.  No words necessary; I was the incarnation of one of those sterotypes I hated so much.  I tried to defend myself and explain that my feet were unbearably hot, but the laughter was too loud.  And it was funny.

Sometimes we’ll see something ironic and just look at eachother, knowing we’re both thinking the same thing.  Every once in a while I’ll consider the side of me he nourishes and think what a different person I would be now if I had married someone who’s sense of humor was not so much like mine.  I used to have a “holier than thou” side (no, really, it used to be much worse!)  That doesn’t sound like any fun, so I think I’ll stick around.  Life is pretty good.  There are shoes to buy, purses to carry…a woman’s work is never done.