I have been wrestling with God about the future. School is drawing to close and I have been asking Him what’s next. He keeps telling me to wait…to focus on now and let Him worry about later. I don’t like this answer. I want to know what His plans are…I am admittedly impatient and frustrated by the process.
At the same time, I know that God does have a plan. He has closed a ministry door this past month—closed it so clearly that I couldn’t even argue with Him about it. In my human mind it doesn’t make sense. And I’ve been asking Him to at least reassure me that I am on the right path, that I am doing the right things…that I haven’t made some huge mistake and missed His call (or mis-read His call).
So this morning He gives me John 6:6. And He gave it to me clearly, “Read John 6:6″. So I did. Here it is:
He was testing Philip David,
for he already knew what he was going to do.
John 6:6, NLT
Of course, that little edit was straight from Him as well. In the original story—The Feeding of the 5,000—Jesus asks Philip where they can get enough food for everyone sitting there listening to Him (there were about 15,000 people including women and children). That’s where John 6:6 comes in…Jesus was only asking to test Philip, to see if Philip would trust Jesus or trust something else (or nothing).
Philip fails the test. I’m sure I would have failed the test. But that’s not the point this morning. Nope…this was about me this morning. God has been,and is, testing me on this “what’s in my future” thing. He knows what He’s going to do…but He’s testing me. Will I trust Him or am I going to trust myself, something else, or nothing at all? So far…so good. I do trust that He has a plan…and I’m letting Him work on the impatient side.
Apparently I need the process. And God knows I need the process. i need to work through it with Him (on this and many other issues)…He knows I shouldn’t just be given the answer. He sees the bigger picture. he knows what I need and what I don’t need. So I commit once again to trusting Him and doing what He has called me to do right now. The rest is coming soon enough and He knows what He is going to do!
Oh..and P.S.: Philip may have failed this little “quiz”, but he passed the bigger tests down the road. Philip is the guy who heads God’s call to go talk to a Eunuch about God. He trusts God and reaps the reward (and even ends up going a little “Star Trek” in the end). You can read the story here: Acts 8:26-39.
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I have had some technical difficulties this last week with my blog (couldn’t load the page where I actually create a post)…but I’m back…and then I’ll be gone until this weekend on the hunt. 
I have actually had a topic on my heart for the past few days that I’m glad I finally get to share…I’m so impatient, but it has given time for God to continue to work on this area in my life. It comes out of John chapter 12:
Those who love their life in this world will lose it.
Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.
John 12:25, NLT
On the surface seems pretty innocent, but it’s anything but “innocent”. This is hard teaching here from Jesus. Think about the implications…if we love our life in this world (at all) then we will lose eternity. We have to “care nothing” for our life in this world—we are supposed to be “other worldly minded”. I don’t know about you, but that’s not always the way I walk and live. Quite often I am very “this world” oriented.
But what Jesus is really getting at here is whether we are a believer or a follower of Christ. Do we just believe His words and teachings OR do we actually follow them? Are we really developing a relationship with Christ or are we simply “practicing Christianity” (do we even know the difference)? Can I honestly say that I hate my life in this world and that my full hope is in the eternal life that’s coming?
Where is my heart? Where is my mind? What’s my focus?
Am I “All In” or am I holding a little back for the next round?
These are the hard questions God is working on in my life…
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This morning God led me back to a passage He had me in almost a month ago (told you I was a slow learner): John 15:9-17. Then it was about “remaining in His love”. Today was a slight variation on that theme (although they are related).
First, Jesus starts off with this:
When you obey my commandments,you remain in my love,
just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.
John 15:10, NLT
You are my friends if you do what I command.
John 15:14, NLT
I don’t know about you, but two things came to mind here when I read this:
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Yuck…I hate commands. I hate being told what to do (my authority issues)
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OK, now that my tantrum is over…what exactly is Jesus commanding anyway?
The first reaction is of course not so good…but it blows by quickly. The second however is important. What is Jesus’ command for us? If we are supposed to follow His commandments, if we are supposed to do what He commands…what is it? (And of course we always think it’s going to be hard and no fun).
Jesus gives us the answer in this very same passage…twice (and it’s still easy to miss)…
This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.
John 15:12, NLT
This is my command: Love each other.
John 15:17, NLT
Doesn’t sound so bad right?
Or does it?
I’m off to give it try…
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