I vividly remember the first day we brought Lindsay home from the hospital. We set her down in her car seat (she was still asleep)…we looked at eat other and thought/said, “What now?” We were new, young parents with the awesome responsibility of caring for and raising another human being (you have to pass a test to drive a car, but not a parent?). There was a mix of emotions ranging from excitement to terror at what lay ahead. Could we do this? What were we supposed to do now? What had we gotten ourselves into? Where are the Doritos?

As I sit here in the church during my first day I am struck by the similarities. The responsibility is not quite the same magnitude, but it’s awesome none-the-less. The same questions are running through my head. I want to do this right…I want to focus on the right things and not just be about programs and curriculum. I want God to lead the way, not the other way around. I have a list, but is it God’s list?

My prayer is truly to be about God’s business and not my own. I want Him to take the lead and I want to follow. I know I can’t do this in my own power. I need Him.

The similarities don’t stop with the questions and the doubts…

We need God to help us raise our kids…it’s not a solo job.

I need God to help me do this “job” (there has to be a better word than that)…it’s not a solo flight either.

I’m excited about what lies ahead. Today has already been a good day and the calendar is starting to fill up…meeting with the people who are doing the real work in the trenches and starting to build the framework of support for our growth (spiritually and numerically).

We figured most of it out with Lindsay (we’re still in the process)…I’ll figure it out here. Because I’m not alone. Thank God!

This new year is new for me in different ways than usual. Of course, it’s a brand new year and I’m doing the typical reflection of 2009 and looking forward to 2010. But this year there’s more.

Yesterday was my last day in the corporate work force after 20 years. Today…the first day of 2010…is the first day of stepping into my calling as a full time pastor. And there are mixed “emotions”…

It’s exciting.

It’s a little intimidating.

It’s new.

It’s different.

2010 is already shaping up to be like no other year. And I plan on chronicling my “new life”. There will be challenges, failures, excitement, victory, and who knows what else—and I want to share it all with you. I’m on the ride with God and we’re trusting Him for everything else. I know without a shadow of doubt that we are doing exactly what God wants us to do. And that’s exactly where you want to be.

So as this year unfolds…take the journey with me. You might learn something too…and I know you’ll teach me a thing or 12.

2010 here we come…

The sermon this week was about the power of community…taking from two stories in Exodus: the Battle with the Amalekites and Jethro’s Advice for Moses. We talked about the importance of living in community with another because that’s how God has made us. We need one another to help carry our burdens, helps us when we fall down, and fight our spiritual battles.

We don’t get to be “Lone Rangers” in our spiritual journey…we need share the journey with others.

For more, please take a listen to the sermon podcast.

This last Sunday (October 25) I had the privilege of preaching on the 10 Plagues as we continue our sermon series through the book of Exodus. The sermon is entitled American Idol: Egyptian Style and focused on the idol worship God was confronting and attacking with each of the 10 plagues against Egypt.

We all have idols—things that take God’s place in our lives…but God never leaves them alone and He requires that we turn our hearts toward Him and lay our idols down. Sometimes our idols are bad things (i.e.: pride, pornography, etc) and sometimes they aren’t (i.e.: work, family, etc). Regardless, we need to keep our relationship with God the most important part of our lives. Our hearts are prone to wander and we need to come back to our Father daily…He’s waiting with open arms.

For more detail, please listen to the Sermon Podcast

If you are truly a child of the 80’s then you will be able to finish the song lyric (hint: “China”). This morning at 5:30 am Anita was picked up by our friends and her travel companions for an 11 day trip to China! Quite an adventure for a woman who has only been outside of the country once (and it hardly counted…Vancouver).

She and five other members of our church Praise Team are heading to China to lead worship for two Sundays at the Beijing International Christian Fellowship, an ex-patriot church of about 6,000 people that is allowed to worship on Chinese soil. They will also be doing some sight-seeing (i.e.: Great Wall and Forbidden City) and visiting a couple of orphanages. It’s a great opportunity for Anita and she is following God’s leading…and what a big step it is! They have an 18 hour flight before hitting the ground running on Saturday and Sunday.

I’m way excited for her. Now…11 days playing “Mr. Mom”? Doesn’t sound too bad…should be a lot of fun…but a lot of people think I’m crazy!  We’re going to have a lot of fun together, but we will all miss mom a lot. Kyle is already saying he misses her…I’ll just have to keep them so busy they don’t have time to think about it.

Anita will have all kinds of pictures and stories when she gets back…so stay tuned…

I had the privilege of preaching again this past Sunday—and on the first day of our new first service, “reFresh Cafe”. My passage was John 21 and I focused on the interaction between Jesus and Peter (his “reinstatement”). In this interaction, Jesus draws a parallel between our love for Him and our love for one another. You can’t have one without the other. Our love for others flows out of our love for Him, and our love for others is evidence of our love for Him.

Until I got to studying this passage I hadn’t always made that connection. Love God…check. Love Others…check. Love Others out of my Love for God….hmmm….not so sure about that one. I prefer to love others out of my own strength and ability. As usual…I still have plenty to work on!

Listen to the sermon podcast.

School is drawing to a close (can I get an AMEN?!). One more class. Six more weeks of papers and studying. One more grade. And then I graduate…I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s so close I can taste it. And the ride has been fun, but it’s time for it to be over.

But that simply leads to the next question: What’s Next? And God has finally released me to start praying about it…about what’s next. No answers yet—but at least I get to pray about it and start looking toward the future. So that’s what I’ve been doing over the past week. Not in large doses of prayer, but in simple prayers where I just ask God, “What’s next? What do you have in store for us? What should we be preparing for?”

And then I listen…

This morning He gave me an answer I was not expecting: “No matter what happens…enjoy the process.”

Enjoy the process. Hmmm…

Interesting. Not exactly what I was expecting. But I get it.

Don’t worry. Don’t fret. Don’t get your undies in a bunch (I might have added that one myself)…just enjoy the process regardless of the results. During the process…whatever that ends up being…I get to learn about myself. I get to learn about God. I get to connect with God and share thoughts and feelings with Him. I get to walk with God and hear His voice.

I should say…WE get to walk with God and hear His voice. I’m not alone in this process. Anita is in it with me. The kids are in it. I have no idea what’s coming down the road but I will enjoy the process. And I just might end up with exactly what He wants for me in the process. Wouldn’t that be a bonus?

Last week, at the beginning of our Spring Break trek through Kansas and Missouri, I got the privilege to preach in Grant’s new church in Topeka, KS: Western Hills Baptist Church. I had a great time. Great church. Great people. Great worship.

The sermon was on John 8:1-11, the woman caught in adultery. Grant is currently going through a sermon series entitled “conversations” that is focused on conversations that Jesus had with various people in the book of John…life changing conversations.

In my sermon, the focus is on these words that Jesus speaks to this woman after her accusers have left (after He makes them look foolish): “Neither do I condemn you.” I still have a hard time hearing this from God. I would much rather carry around my guilt than accept his scandalous forgiveness. It’s hard to hear these words and really accept them, but He means it.

I. Don’t. Condemn. You.

He loves us just the way we are…and too much to leave us there!

Here is the audio of the sermon if you really want to torture yourself:

Conversations: A Guilty Pawn

This past Sunday I had the distinct honor and pleasure to preach at our church (Pinecrest Community Church). Now, I have preach many sermons but it had been a long time and I hadn’t preach at this church. I wasn’t nervous, but I was reminded a few times (by a close and dear friend of mine) that I really should not suck if at all possible.

Upon reflection, I do not think I sucked. You can judge for yourself by listening to the podcast. Since it has been awhile since I preached there were a few little cobwebs and a returning to some old habits, but all in all God did His thing and I just tried to let Him speak and be His conduit. It was fun…I truly love teaching and preaching.

What do I need to improve? Where do I begin? The big thing I want to focus on is slowing down and using silence. I got this feedback from both of our pastors and it’s a bad habit I have worked very hard to break (my very first sermon was over in like 5 minutes instead of the 20 it should have taken…those poor people!). Speaking is a craft and it takes some honing. The more you do it, and focus on getting better, the better it gets.

For those of you that heard me…I welcome constructive criticism. I just hope and pray that God continues to us me for His glory! It’s fun when you’re doing what He has called you to do.

As part of my current college course (Spiritual Formation) we have gone through several exercises this week to practice solitude and listening to God’s voice. These are uncomfortable exercise…but that’s supposed to be part of the point as we get out of our comfort zone and learn to hear God speak into our lives. It has been hard. It has been good.

Last night was a 30 minute exercise of silence and listening. After the first 5-10 minutes (I wasn’t watching the clock) God did a LOT of talking. This is probably indicative of how much I haven’t been listening recently..He unloaded on one very specific topic: Having a Servant’s Heart. I won’t go into all of the details, but here are the highlights:

1. Am I leading from a servant’s heart or am I serving out of simple duty and obligation? (I hate it when He asks questions like this because I rarely like the answer!)
2. God wants my motive to service…not service because I’m supposed to or because it feeds my ego. (OUCH)
3. Two examples for me to chew on: Jesus washing His disciples’ feet (He wanted to do it…it wasn’t just a duty) and Philippians 2:4-11.
4. Here’s the big one: He wants me to really start seeing other’s as He sees them—through God’s eyes!

This is all about my motives for ministry and service. Am I doing it for my own benefit or for God’s benefit? Is my heart truly in the right place? I’m not saying I am serving out of some dark place…but it’s not the best place. It’s for God’s glory not mine. It’s not about me…it’s about Him.

God, grant me a servant’s heart!