A little warning as I start this blog post…it’s a rant on my part and I just hope I feel better when I’m done.
Lindsay is playing soccer for her school this year. She loves playing organized sports and she puts effort and heart into it. She’s good at volleyball and soccer. Her team…not so much. They’ve played three games so far this year and if my math is correct they have lost by a combined total of 30-2 (and no, I am not exaggerating). One of the games they lost they actually played two extra players for half of the game (their field is so small they play 9 players instead of 11). The last game they lost to a team with only 9 players…no subs.
And it’s not that the girls aren’t playing hard…they are giving it everything they’ve got. They want to win. They want to learn. Lindsay left the last game crying because she wants to win and get better. But it isn’t happening…and I know part of the reason why…coaching.
The word “coach” is a noun…as in: “One who instructs players in the fundamentals of a competitive sport and directs team strategy.” More importantly, it’s also a verb…as in: “To instruct, direct, or prompt”. Lindsay’s coach has the title of coach, but isn’t taking the verb part seriously. They don’t run drills, they don’t get basic instruction, they don’t get correction during the game. They don’t even get passion.
It’s hard to watch. I don’t want to be one of those parents…but that’s becoming increasingly more difficult with each game. I’ve offered to coach (or assist) in the past for her school and been turned down every time. I don’t claim to be a great coach, but I’d at least be active and help the girls learn along the way. I don’t even really care about the winning part as long as they are learning and getting better (which will often lead to winning a few games).
Frustrating…and not sure I actually do feel better…but I tried. ;o)
NOTHING makes me grumpier than those who accept the title of “Coach” but not the responsibilities. There are hundreds of kids whom I’ve had the privilege to mentor and share my love of sports, and who have called me Coach, and truly it is a title that is equal to Dad and Husband in my mind.
But you have to earn it, and some men (and I suppose women too,) are simply not worthy of it.
I attended a coaching clinic a number of years ago, and the instructor asked us to name as many teachers and how they impacted us as we could. I got five or six. Then he asked us to name as many coaches as we could and describe them. I was able to recall EVERY coach I’d ever had and could remember reams of details about them, their style and on and on. Most everyone else could too. The instructor made his point! Even though you spent much less time with a coach than you ever would with a teacher, the coach has a powerful and long lasting effect on the player. That made a huge impression on me.
Shame more folks don’t consider that when they put on the whistle