I have been wrestling with God about the future. School is drawing to close and I have been asking Him what’s next. He keeps telling me to wait…to focus on now and let Him worry about later. I don’t like this answer. I want to know what His plans are…I am admittedly impatient and frustrated by the process.
At the same time, I know that God does have a plan. He has closed a ministry door this past month—closed it so clearly that I couldn’t even argue with Him about it. In my human mind it doesn’t make sense. And I’ve been asking Him to at least reassure me that I am on the right path, that I am doing the right things…that I haven’t made some huge mistake and missed His call (or mis-read His call).
So this morning He gives me John 6:6. And He gave it to me clearly, “Read John 6:6″. So I did. Here it is:
He was testing Philip David,
for he already knew what he was going to do.
John 6:6, NLT
Of course, that little edit was straight from Him as well. In the original story—The Feeding of the 5,000—Jesus asks Philip where they can get enough food for everyone sitting there listening to Him (there were about 15,000 people including women and children). That’s where John 6:6 comes in…Jesus was only asking to test Philip, to see if Philip would trust Jesus or trust something else (or nothing).
Philip fails the test. I’m sure I would have failed the test. But that’s not the point this morning. Nope…this was about me this morning. God has been,and is, testing me on this “what’s in my future” thing. He knows what He’s going to do…but He’s testing me. Will I trust Him or am I going to trust myself, something else, or nothing at all? So far…so good. I do trust that He has a plan…and I’m letting Him work on the impatient side.
Apparently I need the process. And God knows I need the process. i need to work through it with Him (on this and many other issues)…He knows I shouldn’t just be given the answer. He sees the bigger picture. he knows what I need and what I don’t need. So I commit once again to trusting Him and doing what He has called me to do right now. The rest is coming soon enough and He knows what He is going to do!
Oh..and P.S.: Philip may have failed this little “quiz”, but he passed the bigger tests down the road. Philip is the guy who heads God’s call to go talk to a Eunuch about God. He trusts God and reaps the reward (and even ends up going a little “Star Trek” in the end). You can read the story here: Acts 8:26-39.
