I voted early yesterday. No lines. Long ballot. I’m done (but I still have to listen to all the stupid commercials…oh well, can’t have everything I guess).
As I have been thinking about voting this week I started thinking about what my own presidential platform might include. Here are a few of my most important “issues” (some serious, some not so much…you figure out which is which):
- My first act would be to outlaw all pennies!
- I would repeal the income tax and switch to a consumption tax (see Fair Tax.org).
- I would outlaw all political ads during election season (like they do anything besides make people angry anyway).
- I would re-institute prayer in schools (at least the option).
- I would make the Broncos the official “America’s Team” (who gave Dallas that title anyway?).
- I would Drill Baby Drill!
- I would make Chuck Norris my Secretary of Defense (and State, and NSA, CIA, and FBI).
- I would give every person in America hunting season off (for that matter, let’s do a 3 day work week!).
- I would outlaw usage of the term “organic” with very few exceptions.
- I would move Craig Ferguson to time slot I could actually watch.
- I would give North Dakota to the Palestinians (like we’re really using it anyway…and it’s bigger than the West Bank with more resources).
- I would cut government spending and programs by at least 1/2 and I’d probably let my kids decide what we should do without (yes, even they could figure this one out!).
- I would bomb France and give it to the Shiites (mostly because France annoys me).
I think that’s a good start. Anything I missed??
PS: Don’t forget to vote…especially if you want to complain about it later! You can even write my name in if you want. 
I AM WRITING YOUR NAME IN
