UPDATE: After a proper chastising and reminder from Grant, I need to amend this blog and clarify what I was trying to say (sometimes my writing doesn’t convey my true intentions). Grant reminded me that he and Amy invited us over on July 4th (which we turned down for various reasons). I know…how do you spell hypocrite? “D-A-V-I-D” apparently. So, to clarify…I’m more talking about close friendships. The “no need to clean my house because they’re coming over” friendships. We’ve had them…and are developing a few as we speak. And I’m over my little rant now and feeling better. Like I said, it was just one of those weeks.  ;o)

 I am having “one of those weeks”. They happen to me every now and then…I hope they never happen to you. It’s been one of those weeks when nothing seems to be going right with the world. Now mind you, it’s not true (and I know it’s not true)…but to me that’s how it feels.

Not sure what triggers it. Not sure exactly how to stop it.

Frankly, I’m hoping writing about it helps a little bit since nothing else I’ve tried (aside from time) seems to work. I have just simply been down in the dumps all week. And my poor wife is stuck bearing the brunt of it. I just hope she realizes it’s not her I’m down in the dumps about…not sure what shape I’d be in without her.

This week the cause seems to be friendships (I’m never sure what the main cause will be). At the risk of sounding petty, whiny, and flat out self-centered and immature…it just doesn’t seem like I can develop really good friendships. And sometimes it just depresses me. Maybe I’m too needy? Maybe not needy enough? Maybe not friendly enough? I’m not sure.

It’s not that I don’t have friends…just not close friends. On most weekends and holidays we don’t have anyone ask us to hang out. Can’t actually remember the last time it happened. Makes me wonder what’s wrong with us. Is it our kids? Is it me? Is it us? Kind of frustrating because I hear all the time how lonely society is nowadays. Is that true? If so, why is it so hard?

And I’m actively involved in ministry (maybe too many right now in fact)…but I’m not connecting like I’d like to be. I think my ministry is effective…but is it really building community when I feel so isolated? Or is this just the enemy doing a number on me?

I pray about it, but nothing seems to change. Maybe that’s the problem…maybe I need to change.

Something to think about. Not sure I feel better now…maybe a little stupid and embarrassed for venting like this. But that’s supposed to be the point of this blog…the good, the bad and the ugly along the journey. Thanks for listening to my rant (if you’re still listening). If you’ve ever felt this way before…please share. Misery loves company right??